We don't use a lot of profanity here at the global GreenCarReports.com headquarters.
But there were a whole bunch of horrified OMFGs floating around once we finally got to see the notorious Volt Dance that was unveiled at the Los Angeles Auto Show.
We write about the 2011 Chevrolet Volt extended-range electric vehicle a lot. We've followed it since before its 2007 debut at the Detroit Auto Show. Its electric-drive technology looks impressive, and we liked our drive of the powertrain in a development mule.
Overall, the Volt appears to be a solid step forward into advanced vehicle technology by the formerly bankrupt, no-longer-the-world's-largest automaker General Motors.
And we heard the Volt Song last week. Aside from simplistic lyrics and the ability to worm its way into your brain almost as effectively as Lady Gaga's "Poker Face," we sorta shrugged it off. We'd heard rumors of a dance routine, but dismissed them as absurd.
But they weren't. See the video below. As they say, OMFG. (Look it up if you don't know what that means. It's rude, OK?) Where do we even begin?
First, it's a modified Pony with some 20-year-old hip-hop moves in front. Secondly, those flouncy outfits. Thirdly, no other carmaker was using dancers shaking their groove things to underscore the green credentials of their vehicles.
But by far the worst problem is that the Volt--of all the vehicles GM offers--is supposed to be cool and forward looking. It has to be a halo car so GM can try to erase the damage wrought by the damaging documentary, Who Killed the Electric Car?
The Volt should be to GM what the iPod is to Apple: a must-have object, somethings so cool, so clever, so right that it makes your teeth ache with product lust. The day Apple uses lame dancers like this is the day they've jumped the shark.
Has GM compromised the Volt's chances with this kind of inept marketing? We doubt it; they'll sell every one of the 10,000 or so they plan to build during 2011.
But frankly, if this is a foretaste of what we're gonna see as the GM marketing machine cranks up its efforts on behalf of the Volt, we want our bailout bucks back. Now.